Leave to Cleave
I was casually reading one day and came upon the scripture in Acts 11 where a disciple named Barnabas had been sent by the church in Jerusalem to Antioch to see about a current revival that had caught their ear. The Greeks were receiving Jesus and getting saved. Barnabas came upon this revival and witnessed the hand of the Lord moving. In Acts 11:23 it says, “who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.” The word “cleave” jumped out at me. I immediately had a mental cross reference happen and the scripture found in Genesis 2: 24 leaped into my brain. It says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” I looked at this verse and thought to myself, “I’ve never noticed how this is stated.” The two things that must happen in this scripture are “leave” and “cleave”. I’m sure that anyone who is married has experienced this little dilemma in some way or another. Thousands of husbands and wives would say their spouse is still cleaving to mom or dad. This can turn into a big stink quickly. Now before you think, “Oooh…do Eric and Lindsey have this problem?” Let me answer, No! We both have a healthy relationship with the other’s parents. Or you may think, “Are you saying that just because one is married they should forsake their parents and that’s it?” Of course not! However, second to money, I would say that family dysfunctions are the second leading cause of relational breakdown. As a matter of fact I was just talking with a friend who has a relative that is married to a lady who he claims is still clinging to mama and daddy. I think in a very healthy way we all would agree that in order to “cleave” to your spouse you have to do a little bit more than move out of your parents house. You must “leave” their roof and if there be any unhealthy clinging as well.
Nowadays there is a new disease for everything. Most of these I believe are spiritual conflicts and not literal diseases. Before you allow a social worker or doctor to diagnose your child you should raise them up in the Lord and call forth the will of the Lord over them. However, there are obviously “disorders” in many people that cause conflict in relationships. The Mayo Clinic calls one of these Reactive Attachment Disorder. The following is a statement from the Mayo Clinic website: “Reactive attachment disorder is a rare but serious mental health condition in which infants and young children don’t establish healthy bonds to parents or caregivers. Children with reactive attachment disorder typically were neglected or abused in infancy, passed through many foster homes, or lived in orphanages where their emotional needs weren’t well met. Because their basic needs for comfort, affection, nurturing and stimulation weren’t met, these infants and children didn’t learn how to create loving and caring attachments with other people. They can’t give or receive affection. Reactive attachment disorder is often enmeshed in controversy. Both its diagnosis and treatment are difficult, and parents and caregivers are commonly distressed as they try to cope with the disorder and a seemingly uncaring child. Some nonconventional treatment methods have been associated with the deaths of several children, escalating the controversy. Despite the challenges, a commitment to proven psychiatric treatment may help these children enjoy a better quality of life and develop more stable relationships. Reactive attachment disorder is broken into two types — inhibited and disinhibited. While some children have signs and symptoms of just one type, many children have both.”
Inhibited type
In inhibited reactive attachment disorder, children shun relationships and attachments to virtually everyone. This may happen when a baby never has the chance to develop an attachment to any caregiver.
Signs and symptoms of the inhibited type may include:
- Resisting affection from parents or caregivers
- Avoiding eye contact
- Appearing to seek contact but then turning away
- Difficulty being comforted
- Preferring to play alone
- Avoiding physical contact
- Failing to initiate contact with others
- Appearing to be on guard or wary
- Engaging in self-soothing behavior
Disinhibited type
In disinhibited reactive attachment disorder, children form inappropriate and shallow attachments to virtually everyone, including strangers. This may happen when a baby has multiple caregivers or frequent changes in caregivers.
Signs and symptoms of the disinhibited type may include:
- Readily going to strangers, rather than showing stranger anxiety
- Seeking comfort from strangers
- Exaggerating needs for help doing tasks
- Inappropriately childish behavior
- Appearing anxious
I believe that there are some things God is calling us to “abandon”. We must leave thought patterns, and destructive behaviors that steal our peace and joy. What are some things God is calling or leading you to “leave”? If you starve an animal it dies. I realize that Satan is not a pet, but I have discovered that the more I abandon and neglect his temptations and ways, the more open I can be to the ways of God. Affection is a powerful feeling. Affection is tied to worship. What makes your eyes light up? I told someone once, “Naturally, you won’t stay saved.” What did I mean? You can’t just make a decision and never feed a passion inside of you for God and expect to be “one” with him for too long. You must “leave” some things to “cleave” to others. Jesus said, “No man can serve two masters.” You will serve and worship something. You are made that way. I believe everyone has “one main hobby”. Maybe I should say “desire”. I know people that get real passionate about sports. Others absolutely watch movies all the time. Movies, Movies, Movies. Other people are “fashion” gurus. They have to have the right shoes and purse and wardrobe. How about hunters? What kind do I mean? You name it! My point proved. Hunters hunt anything: deer, birds, and all other animals. You know what’s harder than having 3 or 4 gods to worship? Having one God. The hardest constant to find is singularity. To have One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism is hard for the flesh. Why? Because we love to cleave to things.
I once heard of a guy who was telling his grandfather about these two young women he felt great love for. “Tell me son about the 1st girl.” The young man began to talk and with his eyes on fire. He talked for over an hour about this first girl of interest. Right then the granddad got up and just walked out of the room. The young man said, “Pap, where are you going? I haven’t told you about the other girl.” The grandpa said, “There isn’t any other one. Son you have been talking about the first girl for almost 2 hours. That’s the one for you!” Many times our vision is blurred. Why? It’s not really because we are backsliding or lukewarm. Rather, it is because we begin to cleave to things other than god- that God doesn’t want for us. Cleaving is to cling to. We as people cleave to “seasons of life” that we thought were better. I have decided, if the Lord lets me live I don’t want to be more loyal to my past than I am to my future. Live in such a way as to not forget where you have come from, but with your eyes belonging to the future- yes your best days are ahead…well only if you believe it. Cleave is a word that is self-explanatory. To cleave is to cling to in loyalty. More than holiness you must have a holy resolution to stay close to your God. So I encourage you today “neglect” and “abandon” those besetting sins and cleave to your king.
